The Friday Funnies – Christmas and Woe is Me.

Greetings!

Woe is me! Christmas presents, I don’t know what to return.

The Tiffany nose ring? The designer toilet, with automatic wiper and cheek massage? Or the Adam Edmonds leather boots with instant stiletto heel ejectors, great for that moment when you’ve had too much happy juice at a redneck bar and say, “Bubba! Hold my drink.”

Then there’s the beardaments I received, mini ornaments designed to fit on one’s whiskers. The problem is, I don’t have a beard. I also received a buck-fifty gift card to Madam Ling-ling’s Lotus Blossom Happy House. I was told, however, that a buck-fifty wouldn’t buy too much happiness…if you know what I mean.

The Polaroid Swinger Camera was lovely, but the flash almost blinded me when I attempted to take a selfie. End results? Numerous snaps of wadded nose hair. Oy Vey!

Well, there you have. What to return? My life is so difficult. ()

Big hug, y’all!

(Originally posted December 29, 2023)