Category: Friday Funnies

I’m mortified, horrified, and stupefied! Imagine my distress when David Delk sent me a snap of a man reading this AARP magazine in the Atlanta Airport! Little did I know that when I posted the picture of my bare chest last Saturday on Facebook, it would end up in every newsstand across the nation. I’m […]

So, it’s hot! Stop complaining! Be thankful you can fry an egg on the sidewalk and cook hot dogs while driving! How cool is that! Be happy. You’re doing your bit to stop global warming. Stay cool and dry, my friends, as in your underarms. Later, Cool Gaters! (Originally published July 14, 2023)

Meanwhile in other news, there’s this. I can’t help but wonder if this sign increased Miss Sherrill’s business. Have a good day and don’t forget to have a good laugh along with it. Big hug, y’all!

Meanwhile, in other Coastal automotive news, I present this gem for your perusal. I can hear the greasy, gold-toothed car salesman’s pitch now — It’s a car for all budgets. Keep an open mind, new thinking, new possibilities. Low millage. As individual as you are. Don’t dream it…drive it. Everyday vehicle it isn’t. Fuel for […]

With pained remorse, I can hear him saying to his horrified mother, “But Mom, I was snockered and fell asleep. Don’t panic, it’s only temporary. It’s a phase I’m going through.” Please remember: In the Tattoo Parlors of Life, it’s always best to remain cognizant, sober, and awake. Have a great day, y’all. Later Cognizant […]

The Friday Funnies! Meanwhile, in other Mississippi News, there’s this. This week, a new road was christened on the outskirts of D’Lo in honor of Lorena Bobbitt by her sixth cousin, Lorraina Lopitoff, twice removed. Ms. Lopitoff was cheered by a retinue of ladies resplendent in haute couture fashions, sporting handbags designed with special knife-carrying […]

Just think, my young, ambitious tots: if you apply yourself, get a good education, and keep your nose clean, you too will be able to buy a cool pair of fashionable granny glasses, wear cool sweater vests, and let your hair grow luxuriously long. And then, late in life, you’ll ponder this eternal question…what was […]

Greetings! Remember the ’90s TV show Twin Peaks? I saw this man in Walmart this morning, and from his attire, I assumed he must be auditioning for a new TV series: Twin Cheeks. Remember: Nothing compares to the stomach ache you get from laughing with good friends. Later “Cheeky” Gaters! (Originally published June 30, 2023)

Charlie Chan say, “He who learns to take whatever life sends with smile, has learned lesson worth more than gold.” Don’t forget to smile today, y’all. Even when your eyes are swollen shut! Later Smiling Gaters! (Originally published June 25, 2021)

Meanwhile, in other news: My cousin, Bubba Josephus Kalberg, who lives in the bustling suburbs of D’Lo, Mississippi, is doing what he can to stay cool in the sweltering heat of summertime down South. He personifies the old adage, “Takin’ what you got and makin’ what you can.” I applaud his creativity. His swimming companions […]

For your perusal today, I submit a snap of moi during my heady college days at William Carey College, now a university. After a raucous night of carousing around town, I was then and there convinced that the Apostle Paul was right: all things in moderation. No more “Baptist beer” for moi! Perhaps poet and […]

As the servant listens to the smooth-talking gold digger wooing this old gal, he’s thinking: “Honey, don’t beleive a word he’s saying…he only wants your for your money.” Don’t forget to laugh today. As Charlie Chaplin once said, “A day without laughter is a day wasted.” (Originally published June 17, 2022)

Ah! A summer’s day long ago with this Macho, Macho Man!! In his honor, we’ll now sing a rousing chorus of the Village People’s song of the same name, remembering these time-honored lyrics: “Every man wants to be a macho man. To have the kind of body always in demand. Joggin’ in the mornings, go […]

In life’s crazy whirlpool, for some, there’s mental therapy. For me, there’s chocolate! Now, I’m on a sugar high, but I ain’t as crazy as I was. () Big hug, y’all!

I saw this old coot—obviously under the influence—standing outside the Mombasa Chop House and Massage Parlor. He was caterwauling to the high heavens to everyone and anyone who would listen. But, alas, drunks and hobos were his primary audience. For some reason, his song choice was “You Light Up My Life.” If your weary day […]

Don’t mess with me, Bambi! I’m a mean, lean fightin’ machine! Laugh today, my friends! It’s good for the heart. Good for the soul. And good for the face. It takes fewer facial muscles to smile than it does to frown, so smiling causes less wrinkles. And ain’t none of y’all gettin’ any younger and […]

For your perusal, I present this picture of an old coot who’s napping on the taxpayer’s dime! Thankfully, all Mississippi State Employees are not this derelict in their duties! Due to his office’s officious decor, he most likely thinks he can take such liberties when and where he wishes. Of course, there’s always one eager-beaver […]

I was traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. It was a journey into a wondrous land whose boundaries were that of imagination – my next stop was the Twilight Zone! And Honey, let me tell you!! What a Twilight Zone journey it was!! Remember this: If […]

Meanwhile, in other news, there’s this: In the early 1960s, the United States Air Force, the first service to adopt the M-16 rifle, enlisted young recruits to demonstrate the weapon’s low recoil. The judicious juxtaposition of the M-16 was only partially successful. However, the low recoil test was a boon for local choirs, who were […]

If you can’t put a smile on your face today, please do what Mr. Glad Hand does when he’s down in the dumps. He dons a funny hat and glasses and pins a bunch of fake flowers to his lapel. He then walks down the street with a whistle. Why a whistle, you ask? He […]

In the aftermath of the horror in Uvalde, Texas, I cannot get those innocent, slain children out of my mind. I can’t help but wonder, did they have a pet? A wiggly puppy, a fuzzy cat, a talkative parrot, or a brown-eye pony? Did one of them play with the puppy on Tuesday morning, hug […]

Bad Boy Louie and I went shopping for new sunglasses for an upcoming trip we’re taking…well…sorta. I, of course, chose a classic pair of Polo sunshades, always fashionable and in style. However, true to form, Louie, the fashionista, chose the most expensive, stylish pair of Louis Vuitton sunshades in the shop. Driving home, he was […]

Ah, yes! It appears summer’s just around the corner. Hot days at the beach. Delicious cookouts around the pool. And sneaky snakes in the grass. Yes, he’s there. Can you find him? Don’t cheat and enlarge the picture. 🙃 While looking for Sir Snake, here are a few snake jokes guaranteed to make you laugh. […]

The Friday Funnies! My dermatologist shot me full of novocaine for a skin cancer removal. He didn’t tell me I might morph into a Talosian. Where’s Spock when you need him? As the day wears on, remember what Lord Byron once said, “Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine.” So be good children […]

Greetings! Her Imperial Highness, Madam Ling Ling, is giving her annual Spring Costume Ball, the social event of the summer season. I can’t decide who or what I should be. A Chinese emperor in an antique silk robe? A white ball, Number Six’s nemesis in THE PRISONER? Or Adam, resplendent in leafy modesty? Remember, Life’s […]

Note to self: Maison Waffle might not be the best option at three in the morning. You never know who your dining companions might be. Proverbs 27:9 says, “A sweet friendship refreshes the soul.” And I might add…even if they are a bit strange. Have a great weekend, y’all. Big hug. (Originally posted May 17, […]

For your perusal today, I present Young Scrooge and Old Scrooge. Mercy me, how the mighty have fallen. Remember to laugh today. If you can’t, follow dear ol’ Art Linkletter’s advice. I do so often “And keep a sense of humor. It doesn’t mean you have to tell jokes. If you can’t think of anything […]

In Life’s “tattoo parlors,” it’s best to remain awake and alert. Later Gaters! (P.S. – Have a great weekend!) (Originally posted May 13, 2022)

Meanwhile, in other news: On the dear ol’ Mississippi Gulf Coast, there’s this. Ah! Sweet memories of wash day and hanging your step-ins out to dry in the open air. Today, remember that laughter can be an instant vacation from wash day and the cares of the world. Later Gaters! 🥰 (Originally published May 12, […]

  ATTENTION! RUNAWAY CHILD! So I asked Louie if he thought my new reading glasses would make me look old. With a finger snap, he said, “You are old! You’re 72!”      With a sweet smile, I reminded Bad Boy Louie that he was 73 years older than me…and…had not changed clothes during all that […]

In 46 years of performing in local theater productions, I’ve learned this: there’s always one wiseacre who finds pleasure in practical jokes. I submit the following snap as evidence. The place, Gulfport Little Theater’s makeup room. The production, the 1976 production of The Music Man. The practical joke, industrial-strength allium in my cold-cream jar. For […]

The Friday Funnies! I know y’all! So don’t raise your right eyebrow at me and say, “Andy! What were you thinking? Postin’ this picture! It’s lude and not very nice!” () Liar, liar pants on fire. Right after you read this, y’all are gonna make a list, check it twice, and list everyone you’d like […]

Meanwhile, on the outskirts of D’Lo, another OCSH-free worksite. Who needs rules and regulations when you have brains and ingenuity? Long live American creativity! Don’t forget: Seven days without laughter makes one weak. Big hug. (Originally posted May 3, 2024)

Old-timers say a picture is worth a thousand words. With that in mind, remember: when life beats you up and throws you under the proverbial bus, you gotta get up, dust yourself off, shoot it the bird, and ease on down the road. Never give up and never give in. Keep smiling and moving forward. […]

Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with pilot, Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known. Here are some of his best. Just good, old-fashioned humor. There’s no sex, no profanity, or humor at someone else’s expense. How refreshing. Alas, gone are the days. 1. […]

Meanwhile, in other news! So, I’m asked to bring a potato dish to our Supper Club. I did. The snap best indicates the reaction I received. Oy Vey! Pampered food snobs…whatcha gonna do? Gotta love ‘em, though. Today, while eating at McDonald’s or Mary Mahoney’s, don’t forget to do yourself a favor and laugh! It’s […]

Yikes! And double yikes! Whatever happened to quality in our dear country? I’ve had these gym workout gloves for only 25 years, and now I have to buy a new pair. I was hoping to get at least another ten years out of them. I am heartbroken. () Remember, the Good Book says, “A merry […]

I spoke with my plastic surgeon, asking him if he could perhaps help me look 65 again. He flashed an intense light on my sagging face, poked around my puffy eyelids, pinched my neck wrinkles, and then, with a sadistic smile, said, “I don’t think I’ve got that much caulk and epoxy glue.” I was […]

Meanwhile, in other news! At the local Bustin’ Suds, some nut-job attempted to wash the Little Mermaid. Mercy me. Poor baby, I certainly hope she made it. () Because laughter is the best medicine, take a huge dose today. Big hug. (Originally published April 21, 2023)

It’s just 250 days until Christmas. Got last year’s Christmas bills paid off? You should be an old Scrooge like me, and you’d not have that problem. 😂 Don’t forget, Christmas gifts don’t have to be expensive to be meaningful. It’s the thought that counts! So, this year, buy ’em something tacky and cheap and […]

Note to self. Self, next Easter, please remember that just because it looks like a chocolate-covered Easter Egg on a stick tied with pretty ribbon and covered in a candied-yellow shell, it might not be all it seems! However, you’ll be happy to know, dear friends and family, that one bite and the taste of […]

My shadow and I are channeling dear ol’ Winston Churchill…in more ways than one. (We both look fat. LOL! ) Please remember to always keep your face toward the sunshine, and your shadows will fall behind you. Have a great weekend, y’all. Big hug. (Originally posted April 12, 2024)

The Friday Funnies! I think this pictures’ caption should read: “Sorry, Mammy Yokum, I just cut the cheese!” With Abner saying, “And a big smelly slice it was!”  Keep smiling today! It’s good for your health as is…well…you know. Big hug.

Meanwhile, in other news! Mayors on the Mississippi Gulf Coast have declared March 22, 2024, Pothole Appreciation Day! Although a nuisance, with a bit of ingenuity, aggravating potholes can be transformed into spots of enjoyment. The snap indicates a suggested spot. (Swimsuits are optional.) Sometimes you just gotta take what you got and make what […]

Do you have a crazy uncle? I do, and his name is Cuthbert Alowishus Kalberg. As a child, when I visited him during Christmas, I remember thinking how strange he looked—fez for a hat, velvet dressing gown with a fox-fur collar, pallid face, wrinkles galore, and matted beard! Yikes! When I hugged him, I was […]