The Friday Funnies! (Originally published April 23, 2023)
Will Rogers, who died in a 1935 plane crash with pilot, Wiley Post, was one of the greatest political country/cowboy sages this country has ever known. Here are some of his best. Just good, old-fashioned humor. There’s no sex, no profanity, or humor at someone else’s expense. How refreshing. Alas, gone are the days.
1. Never slap a man who’s chewing tobacco.
2. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
3. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
4. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
5. Always drink upstream from the herd.
6. If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
7. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
8. There are three kinds of men –the ones that learn by reading, the few who learn by observation, and the rest of them have to pee on an electric fence to find out for themselves.
9. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
10. If you’re riding’ ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it’s still there.
11. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
12. After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
ABOUT GROWING OLDER…
1. Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
2. The older we get the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
3. Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me; I want people to know ‘why’ I look this way. I’ve traveled a long way, and some of the roads weren’t paved.
4. When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think of Algebra.
5. You know you are getting old when everything either dries up or leaks.
6. I don’t know how I got over the hill without getting to the top.
7. One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it’s such a nice change from being young.
8. One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
9. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.
10. Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.
And, last but certainly not least – If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.
Be safe my dear FB family and friends! And don’t forget to laugh. Big hug.